Happiness is a funny thing. It’s never quite where I expect to find it.
In hindsight, it worked out well for me that I was something of an ugly duck as a teenager. (My dad says “You were never an ugly teenager.” He’s a good dad. And entirely biased).
But in high school, I really wanted to be beautiful. I spent most of my secondary school years entirely infatuated with a guy we’ll call Jack. I sure thought he was beautiful, and I was crushed that he never gave me the time of day. He went for girls who looked more like brunette Barbie dolls. I was not one of those girls, and I suffered some serious teenage angst over that. Then we grew up, and I finally realized that Jack was a Grade A, do not pass go, definitely do not collect two hundred dollars kind of jackass (hence the pseudonym).
And now I am married to this wonderful, kind, warmhearted man, who is supportive and funny and cleans the litterbox and does the dishes to boot. I count myself entirely blessed not to have gotten what I thought I wanted 14 years ago. I wound up with someone who makes me really happy.
Which brings us to this week. This has been the kind of week where nothing goes my way. The kind of week where I tried to give our old, confused dog a bath, and he pooped in the bathtub. The kind of week where my husband got up early on Saturday to make us coffee and inadvertently melted the lovely red kettle I got for Christmas (or, as he put it, he “minified” the tea kettle. Whoops!) It was also the kind of week where my dream job of a clinical placement fell through and I found out we’re likely not moving back to our hometown this summer. I laughed about the tea kettle, and about the dog’s mishap in the bath. But the change in our summer plans was harder to adjust to. I was so looking forward to cookouts with my family every weekend in July, a summer at home in the mountains, catching up with old friends. The thing I thought I wanted most didn’t work out. I am disappointed.
But then I think, maybe this placement was the job version of a Jack, a very appealing looking job, hellbent on ignoring me and dating my gorgeous friend instead. Probably it was a great placement, but if my unrequited crush taught me anything, it’s that sometimes not getting the thing I think I really want works out better than I could ever have imagined.
And no matter what happens in life, I take comfort that every morning of my life, I wake up to this (my fat cat, my sweet husband, and the quilt his grandmother made us), and I am deeply happy:
You can’t always get what you want…
But if you try sometime, you just might find….